Just me and you... and your boyfriend?
Dear Nya,
My best friend always brings her boyfriend when I specifically say that it should just be the two of us when we hang out. There was a time where it was her last day before she left for school and i asked if that last day it could just be a BFF day. She said she would love that and that she was excited bc we haven’t done that in a while. SURE ENOUGH, her boyfriend was there! There’s so much more to that story... I love my best friend so much, but I don't know how to bring up how she always brings her boyfriend.
-Lover
By Nya Hardaway
Dear Lover,
I’m glad to hear you’re willing to talk to your best friend about this. You deserve to express how you’ve been feeling and she deserves to know you’re feeling this way.
I think the best way is to start by letting her know you want to talk to her about something that’s been on your mind. Hard talks need to happen! They're a part of life and relationships. Personally, I think you just have to go in with your chest open. Be honest in a way that expresses how you’re feeling while being mindful of how the other person might be feeling. As long as you both go into the conversation ready to listen and express your feelings, I think it’ll go well.
Be mindful though, “BFF day” to your best friend can be you and her partner because that’s her best friend too. The clearer you are about your feelings and what you’d like to see come from this conversation, the better.
Set the boundaries you need to. Let them know their partner doesn't need to completely stop hanging out with y’all, but that sometimes you’d like to spend time with each other just you two. I’m sure they’ll understand. If not… that’s a whole different letter.
Good luck, Lover. I hope your best friend is accepting of your words and you two spend more time together, just the two of you. You can do this!
Love Always,
Nya x