Whipped Irony
By Rene Jimenez
The e-cuckoldry mindset is a viral disease infecting young men.
I am mainly talking about heterosexual Gen Z men, as that's the experience I am most familiar with. So much content on social media, or in media in general, hinges on ideals that other men put out, never really viewing the nuances that come with being with another person.
I cannot tell you how many gym motivation edits I have seen where the motivation was some form of “imagine your girl cheating on you and making you watch”. It is funny the first few times, but after a while I had to wonder about how much of these videos were perpetuating something obnoxious and awful for men. I am not above this perpetuating of bad thoughts either, which is what interested me in wanting to write this in the first place.
Once it has been deconstructed, I could not stop seeing it in everyone everywhere. I remember recently getting dinner with a friend who I had not seen in a while and unprompted he asked me what I think of men and women being friends. I told him it is possible and normal for that to be the case, and that I have plenty of girlfriends.
He said he is against the idea entirely and that he would demand to be the only man in his girlfriend's life. This isn’t an exclusive sentiment. I have been around enough guys to know that this is the standard train of thought.
For some reason every guy is of the mindset that there is always a nefarious other man that will swoop in and take your girlfriend.
It is hyperbolic to think this way. Of course, every situation is different and feeling uncomfortable with something and verbalizing that is normal, but I have to wonder who is any of this even for? Does it help anyone to imagine “what ifs?” and to hold their partner to an assumption that they’re bound to betray their trust.
All this has been edged on with new forms of secrecy readily available to us. Along with new meanings of value by which we judge relationships. Follower counts, matching profiles, and (weirdly) new gift baskets based around whatever season is currently happening.
Generations before us didn’t have social media; they had rumors and more rigid ideals on sex and relationships. Even though insecurity is not exclusive, there’s so many ways and methods to betray and prove your love to someone that nothing about it is simple anymore.
Every anniversary has to be shown, every password has to be known, a phone checked, and an email inspected. Granted it is not impossible for any of this to be substantiated, but the point still stands that it is way too confusing now.
Distrust is prominent and value is being put in all the wrong places.
Why do I have to imagine myself as a cuckold to give my relationship and myself any agency? It just feels weird to ponder over. It is important to remind ourselves of what is important. It should never be something that isn’t actively happening.