The Battle of Anxiety
The battle with anxiety is a long and stressful one between you and your mind.
By Tristan Ell
Anxiety is something many people around the world are dealing with. I happen to be one of many who suffer through the effects of anxiety.
The fear of failure and the nerves I get are some of the many effects that come with my anxiety. A feeling I suffered through in key points in my life.
People tend to describe me as calm, shy or quiet without knowing what was really going on inside my head.
When I was younger I feared the results of many things whether it was school presentations, tests and so much more outside of school. The fear of failing has always rested on my mind and has been a struggle to deal with.
That feeling of not being good enough has never gone away and really became noticeable in 2017 when I got my shot to live my dream of driving race cars.
I’ve always had the mindset of trying to be the best at everything I do and if I was not then I feel as though I have failed. I feared having the feeling of losing and letting others down which really affected my mental state. I never enjoyed what was supposed to be a dream and instead was stressed, nervous and always thought of the worst outcome.
Opportunities started to slip away and my anxiety started to affect me more after having the experiences of failure. I was scared to go into the real world and live life to the fullest because inside I was very uneasy.
As 2020 came around I questioned myself as to why I feel this way and why I think this way? A question that was hard for me to understand and seemed hard for others to understand as well.
As time has gone on I have seen more people speak on the importance of mental health and it has given me comfort that I was not alone. In fact there are so many others that battle with anxiety and other forms of mental health.
Recently, I have been more open with my experiences with anxiety and that has helped in times where usually my anxiety is at its worst. I have been able to appreciate the small things in life and get out of my comfort zone even more.
I do not know if I could have written this piece a couple of years ago or talk to my family and friends about my experiences. Seeing other people open up has made me more comfortable with who I am and instead of anxiety being a hindrance I have let it be a part of me.
I also write this with the hope of helping others so people know they are not alone. It is a battle and an annoyance that I do not understand the purpose of. Anxiety is the most frustrating thing for me in life.
With that being said, my accomplishments have meant more and have shown me that there is a lot to enjoy in life. Hopefully, someone else can find comfort in another person opening up about their struggles as I have.