Are Online Friendships Real Friendships?
By: Bianca Leigh
Photo by Bianca Leigh
People make friends in numerous ways, whether it be at work or through a mutual acquaintance; most of these encounters happen in person, but what about other types of meetings? In recent years, online and long-distance relationships have gained more acceptance in society. However, there are people who still have their doubts and will often disregard the validity of net-based relationships. People have called me "weird" and say "I don't know anything about these people". Though one of those statements is true, I find there is more to friendships established online for me and many others.
Meeting people on the internet is easy — all I have to do is download a popular social media app like Instagram or Twitter then boom! Millions of social yet anti-social people are before me. As reported by the Pew Research Center in 2015 more than 57 percent of teens have made new friends online.
The first time I met someone online, it was a China Ann McCain account and I thought "omg I'm really talking to China!" Foolish of me to believe I was talking to a celebrity, but the child inside of me was hopeful.
Like the child me at the time, there are other children who may be faced with the same dangers of online predators. There are nearly 500,000 predators active each day, so it is easy for children to be fooled. Thankfully my older sister was there watching me, but not everyone online is a predator attempting to track your address.
People tell me it is a waste of time if you stop talking to them one day, but in reality, most people have not talked to those they once called their best friend in years. So, is there really a difference? No, because the only difference known is we lose them physically instead of online. When you lose a friend online, blocking them is the easiest solution. They are blocked from your life, but unfortunately you go through the same emotions as everyone else that loses a friend.
I remember the first time I lost one of my online friends, his name was Koy, and he was about two years older than me. We would stay up late and talk about games, TV shows or even relationship problems. Though we were too young to have relationship problems, let alone relationships, we talked about everything. He was my first-ever online friend and we had good times together, but then he got a girlfriend and stopped talking to me. I was devastated because I had lost a good friend and would not be able to create any more memories with him.
Losing a friend online is just as difficult emotionally as losing a friend in real life. You are left to think about what could have been and if you did something wrong. Sometimes, it is just that your friendship has run its course; though I never talked to Koy again I cherished all of the moments we had together.
What I have learned from having many online friendships is that you have to think of creative ways to create memorable moments together. Meaning you cannot just call and ask them to go skating or bowling; you have to find ways to come together while being miles away from each other. My friends and I play games online, watch movies or make bets on who can beat who at a game. Activities like these help us feel as if we are never apart from each other. We have created memories together and like physical friendships, we are spending quality time together which helps friendships flourish.
Getting close to an online friend means getting close to their families as well. Just like in person friendships, you can have conversations with each other's families about reality shows you like or even about other family members too. I have had real bonding experiences with my friend's families and even consider them as my own. Getting their numbers, being invited to come over or even joining family vacations are possible within an online friendship.
The point of having internet friends is to hopefully meet them in person one day. Just recently, I was able to meet one of my long-time friends in New York. We had an amazing time sightseeing and eating at beautiful restaurants while enjoying each other's company. That would not have been possible if we did not meet each other online. Even if I am not able to meet my online friends in person, we are still friends. Just like a long-distance couple is still a couple.
We will fight, laugh and enjoy our time together because that is what friends do.