Amidst the holiday season, knowing how to properly handle trauma can be an important skill to have. This past month I had the opportunity to attend an informational seminar hosted by Jamie R. Nelson LMFT from Equilibrium Counseling Services in Rancho Cucamonga.

During the seminar I learned that there are two types of trauma an individual can experience; big trauma and little trauma. Although of equal importance, big trauma can be defined as catastrophic events such as a war or car crash, whereas little trauma is emotional distress that occurs frequently.

With these types of trauma comes two types of responses: hyperaroused and hypoaroused. A hyperaroused nervous system causes a reactive response known as fight or flight, which can eventually lead to anger or anxiety. On the other hand, a hypoaroused nervous system initiates a freeze response, then leading to depression or overwhelming sadness. When someone is in the middle ground of these responses, the state of being can be defined as the resiliency zone or the “ok zone.”

Jamie Nelson stressed the importance of understanding resiliency fluctuates and indicated that the first step to managing a trauma response is identifying it. After these trauma responses have been determined, we can utilize tools such as boundaries, grounding skills and the spoon theory to help better our state of well-being.

Boundaries can be determined as the limit in which we have deemed to be beneficial to our wellbeing. This can be expressed by limit in which we extend ourselves physically and emotionally. For someone who has a difficult time saying no, this seminar helped me understand the importance and necessity of doing so.

We are able to set boundaries by saying no when our limit has been reached outside our comfort zone. There can be times where people may unknowingly cross a boundary, thus leading to our comfort level and energy storage to be impacted in a negative way.

I learned that saying “No” does not mean you do not care, but rather that you value your wellbeing enough to save energy to care for yourself and then others. The best analogy to understand this theory is flight attendants instructing to help yourself with a face mask before you attempt to help others; if you cannot help yourself first, you will be of no use to others later.

Another tool that was discussed in the seminar was the Spoon Theory, which can be better understood as a battery life. If we use a spoon, we must replenish it and over time, if we use more than we replace, we are led to a drained state of wellbeing. It is important to determine what recharges and what drains in order to create a balance.

Some recharging activities include music, the gym, meditation and coloring. It has been determined that coloring and meditation hit the same area of your brain, both achieving a relaxing mindset relieving anxiety and stress.

The final tool discussed was grounding skills, which is the use of our five senses in order to “ground” ourselves in the present. Shifting your focus to what you can hear, smell, feel, taste, and see helps distract you from any stress or anxiety you may be facing at that moment.

Jamie Nelson indicated that incorporating these types of coping skills throughout our daily lives rather than only in our time of need can be extremely beneficial.

Along with these coping skills, practicing mindfulness can be one of the greatest tools in leading ourselves to a well state of being. Wanting to improve our wellness may be easier said than done, but all it takes is an abundance of baby steps to lead to big changes.

Happy Holidays?